The Not Very Official Lexicon of…

 Wizards and Warriors

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Al: the rat that Marko tries to convince to go for help when Marko is trapped in Blackpool's dungeon. The dirty rat refuses to help. ("The Dungeons of Death")

Aperans: The continent on which reside the warring kingdoms of Camarand and Karteia. It’s shaped like a winged dragon perched on a mountain. Sort of. You can see a map, courtesy of Mo TCO, at:

Astrid Tree: A tree with red leaves which bears a green fruit, the only known cure for the Crimson Fever. Found only in the Caverns of Chaos.

Bethel: A witch in service to the Blackpool royal family, specifically to Prince Dirk Blackpool. Bethel helps Dirk with his evil schemes while contriving to wear as little clothing as possible. She helped Dirk steal Vector's monocle, putting that wizard solidly in the power of the prince. Bethel intends to marry Dirk Blackpool and become Queen, although there's apparently some sort of pesky rule against it.

Baaldorf, Ariel: A princess in every sense of the word, Ariel is the spoiled only child of Edwin and Lattinia Baaldorf. As such, she (and her husband) will some day rule over the Baaldorf lands. Ariel was betrothed to Erik Greystone as a child, but their parents have allowed them to make the final decision as to whether or not they will marry. Very beautiful, but not very smart, Ariel favors enormous headwear. 

Baaldorf, Edwin: The much-put-upon father of Princess Ariel Baaldorf and husband to Queen Lattinia Baaldorf. Also ruler of the Baaldorf kingdom in Camarand. Works closely with King Richard Greystone through his son, Erik.

Baaldorf, Lattinia: Queen Baaldorf, married to King Edwin Baaldorf. Mother of Ariel. Loves to shop, hates the thought of getting (or at least looking) old.

Barcolli: Some kind of food that can be ordered via room service. ("The Dungeons of Death")

Barkin: A purple pyramid-type of a game similar to chess, with steps all around it, which uses sticks of different neon colors as markers. The top of the board is squared off and the object of the game is to work the pieces in moves up to the top, the first one doing so being the winner. Dirk Blackpool claims he's never been beaten, but Vector tells a different tale. 

Ben: Marko's horse. Very vain, even among horses (who are notoriously so). Good friend of Southwind, Erik's horse.

Black Phalia: A large black spider similar to a tarantula. Poisonous, but won't sting you if you don't move.

Blackpool, Dirk: Eldest son of King Saris Blackpool, the prince is acting ruler of Karteia while his father lies in a coma. Dirk is cruel, ruthless, and fancies black leather and chains. His closest known associates are the Wizard Vector and the Witch Bethel. Dirk has a younger brother, Geoffrey, but no known sisters.

Blackpool, Geoffrey: The younger son of King Saris Blackpool. Geoffrey lives in the shadow of his elder brother Dirk, and it shows. Geoffrey acts slow witted, but there are those (in fan fiction, anyway) who say it's just an act to keep his deeply paranoid elder brother at bay. In aired episodes it appears that he's just really that dumb.

Blackpool, Saris: Present King of Karteia, Saris has been in a coma for several years, a coma said to have been inflicted upon him by the Wizard Vector. Vector claims that Saris was about to call for a truce between the warring kingdoms of Karteia and Camarand, but can you really believe anything that Vector says?

Book, The: The main spellbook of Aperan's wizards and witches, often referred to but never seen. Reading The Book requires the possession of a monocle. Was hidden for a time in the Caverns of Chaos.

Bottomless Pit: in Karteia. It's got no bottom.

Brew, Interesting: Looking like some iridescent, purple molten lava, the viscous liquid is an acid which works somewhat slowly but which will eat away iron and a man's flesh all the way to the bone. Vector likes the color. ("The Dungeons of Death")

Camarand: The southern portion of Aperans, or the “mountain” that the "dragon" of Karteia sits upon. Ruled by Kings Greystone and Baaldorf. Said to be warm and and with plenty of food.

Cannon, Dirk's: Said to be both real and magical, this cannon could fire shells from the Cliffs of Death that threatened the existence of Castle Baaldorf. You thought it was something naughty, didn't you? ("Skies of Death")

Carpacca Salad: An Aperanian salad commonly used on picnics.

Cassandra: Handmaiden to Princess Ariel Baaldorf. Cassandra can be rather excitable, especially when her charge is in danger. She and Marko have been making eyes at each other, but no relationship has actually been confirmed.

Cassern Pass: Apparently a strategic military location between the armies of Karteia and Camarand. Erik was there just prior to "The Dungeon of Death" episode.

Castle Karnaj: Cursed castle belonging to the late Karnaj, musician and apparently a magic-user of no small ability. Following the death of his pet spider Karnaj cursed the castle, so that anyone who took a life within the castle walls--no matter how small--would be killed by friend and enemy alike, coming at them from all directions. Said to be a night of terror which would follow the killer(s) through all eternity. Erik and Ariel were once trapped inside (with a little help from Vector and Ariel's dog Woje). They managed to escape with help from Erik's loyal vassal Marko. ("Night of Terror")

Caverns of Chaos: A place of pain and death and filled with ancient traps, the Carverns is off-limits to wizards. It’s protected against violence and will bind you to whatever you would kill. The place where The Book was kept before the great change. ("Caverns of Chaos")

Cheese Sandwich: While Dirk is away from the castle, leaving brother Geoffrey theoretically in charge, Geoffrey orders Vector to 'serve' him by bringing him a cheese sandwich. The stuff from which fan fiction legends are made. ("Caverns of Chaos")

Cliffs of Death: Located in Karteia near that kingdom's border with the lands of Baaldorf, the Cliffs bear a striking resemblance to Yosemite's Half Dome. Atop the cliffs once stood Blackpool's magical cannon, and at the feet of the Cliffs are mines which produce a magical explosive powder. ("Skies of Death")

Cliffs of Insanity

Colter: A mercenary with a knack with explosives, he's known as much for his dry-witted brevity as for his ability to survive certain death. Colter was among those hired by Erik and Justin in "The Dungeons of Death" episode, during which he supposedly fell to his death. Don't bet on it...and don't touch the horse.

Complete Personality Fixation ("Number Six"): A spell used to completely override a victim's personality and make them do whatever the spell caster chooses. Breaking it requires the will of two royal personages. Bethel used one on Justin in order to persuade him to marry her. ("Caverns of Chaos")

Council, The: The ruling body for wizards and witches. Not much is known about it, though errant members may be called to stand before it.

Crimson Fever: The result of a wizard’s spell, considered the blackest kind of magic. Leaves the victim's skin crimson red (hence the name) and is invariably fatal. Can only be cured by eating the fruit of the Astrid Tree.

Crossbow, Vector's: Vector has designed a new and improved crossbow, which he offers to Dirk. When Dirk insists that Vector fire the first bolt, the weapon mysteriously fires backward, narrowly missing its user--in this case, Vector. Not the sort of gift a loving and obedient wizard gives his surprise there. ("The Dungeons of Death")

Death-Lights: A magical trap consisting of a matrix of blue lights resembling a set of narrow lasers. Best avoided by crawling beneath it, whenever possible. Found in the Caverns of Chaos.

Delt: A small coin of the realm. Valued at 1/10th of a kolna.

Dunfirm: Home to Marko's brother Michael.

Escape Tunnel: One exists under the south wall of Castle Blackpool near a small grove of trees. Revealed to Edwin Baaldorf by Saris Blackpool during a drinking binge, it was intended only as an emergency exit. Erik and Justin, with some help, use it to break into their worst enemy's inner sanctum. Dirk was not happy. ("The Dungeons of Death")

Explosive Powder, Magical: Mined from the base of the Cliffs of Death, this powder, once activated by a wizard, is capable of crossing great distances and doing impressive damage. It was dispatched in cannonballs from Dirk's cannon atop the Cliffs of Death. Apparently this same powder can be used to magically create a gaseous substance that kills by asphyxiation. ("Skies of Death")

Finnan, William: A spy for Camarand, captured by Blackpool's men. Killed by Vector's "Brew". ("The Dungeons of Death")

Floyd the Feather: A thief of small proportions (read: a midget pickpocket), Floyd was once hired by Erik and Justin Greystone to help break Marko out of Blackpool's dungeon. ("The Dungeons of Death")

Forest of Doom: Home to unknown foul beasts, presumably located in Karteia.

Greystone, Erik: Blond and handsome, Erik is apparently the eldest son of Richard Greystone and heir to that kingdom. Also has been called the "Heir to all Camarand," which may refer to some unknown prophecy or merely to the power he will wield should he marry his sometime-betrothed, Princess Ariel Baaldorf. Has a younger (?) brother Justin, and a loyal vassal Marko.

Greystone, Justin: Apparently the younger son of Richard Greystone, Justin is best known for his prowess with  wine, women, and song. Well, maybe not the song part... For some reason he has referred to brother Erik as "little brother," fueling speculation that Justin is, in fact, the elder son. Erik has been named the heir, however, and general consensus is that he, not Justin, is the elder Prince Greystone. It's also possible that Justin is older but illegitimate, explaining his exclusion from Greystone succession.

Greystone, Richard: Current ruler of the kingdom of Greystone in Camarand. Has two sons, Erik and Justin. By all appearances a decent, honorable King.

Grogan: A town, apparently in Camarand, well-known to Justin Greystone. According to him, there's nothing but scum and riff-raff there. Oh, and mercenaries, pickpockets, and cutthroats. The brothers hire Colter, Floyd the Feather, Rutger, and Talia on their way to storm Blackpool's castle. ("The Dungeons of Death"). It's a wretched hive of scum and villiany.

Grox: A bipedal creature with a triangular head, thought to be a myth. It possesses poison-filled blade fingers that can kill you with a scratch. Can only be killed by stabbing it behind its left ear. Don't remove the blade or you'll revive it. ("Caverns of Chaos")

Hat: Vector doesn't wear one. What is perched atop his head is open to speculation. But it's not a hat.

Homer: A blacksmith working on the outskirts of Grogan. Does some work for Colter.

Karteia: The northern potion of Aperans, or the “dragon” that sits on the “Mountain" that is Camarand. Ruled by Dirk Blackpool. Said to suffer from extremes of weather and possible food shortages.

Kolna(s): The currency of Aperans. No exchange rate is currently available, but Erik and Justin once paid 10,000 kolnas each for the services of several mercenaries (in "The Dungeons of Death"). Though Floyd would have done it for five.

Kremlock: An alcoholic drink favored by Saris Blackpool and Edwin Baaldorf.

Lightning Hawk: A bird of prey that can throw deadly lightning bolts, conjured by Vector from the remains of some of the foulest beasts in the Forest of Doom. Quite tasty, according to Dirk.

Marko: Trusted vassal and best friend to Prince Erik Greystone, Marko is gifted with great strength and the ability to communicate with animals. He has a brother, Michael, who is Lawmaster in Dunfirm. Lately Marko has been casting his eye upon the dubious charms of Ariel Baaldorf's handmaiden Cassandra.

Michael Marko's brother, and is Lawmaster for and runs a local tavern in the city of Dunfirm.

Monocle: A teardrop-shaped crystal worn by wizards and witches, apparently as a focus and/or amplifier of their magical power. Without one there is no reading from The Book and no casting of major spells.

Neenja: A slender, dark-haired street ruffian, maybe all of fifteen years old. He sometimes deals in poison-sniffing badgers, but his current specialty is knives. Justin knows him by sight. Last seen in Grogan. 

North Tower: In Castle Blackpool, the place where Dirk Blackpool used to hang his brother Geoffrey upside down by his feet until Geoffrey passed out. Perhaps an explanation for Geoffrey's...limitations?

One-Eyed Bob: A guy who used to be known as just Bob before an untimely visit to Blackpool's torture chambers.

Plan B: A plan in which Justin will appear to bail out on Erik in the middle of a mission, only to reappear when least expected and most needed. Presumably this plan works because Justin has pulled this stunt before...without returning.

Poison-Sniffing Badgers: These badgers can smell poison. You send them in ahead. If there's poison, they run out. (You were expecting something else?)

Pumpkin: Princess Ariel's noble steed, a white unicorn.

Rankoor, General: Roasted alive on a spit by Dirk Blackpool for some unknown offense. ("Night of Terror")

Rutger: A large, fuzzy, barrel-chested man who makes his living as a circus strongman. Hired in Grogan by Erik and Justin to break into Blackpool's castle. Justin once owed him 100 kolnas and a woman named Wanda. Killed by a dagger that had belonged to Erik Greystone.

Serena: The name used by Bethel while trying to seduce Justin into marrying her. ("Caverns of Chaos")

Southwind: Erik's noble steed, a white stallion. Good friend of Ben, Erik's horse.

Spiders: The special phobia of Dirk Blackpool. As a boy he was trapped in a secret room in the old Castle Blackpool with thousands of them, and was stung multiple times before finally passing out from exhaustion and spider venom. ("Caverns of Chaos")

Takama Powder: A chemical or concoction apparently used to cause or aid flying.

Taldon Gang: A group of men who ran afoul of Coulter. According to him, both the gang and their castle are now...gone.

Talia: A high-wire artist with a striking figure and short blonde hair, who speaks with a German (?) accent. She is secretly Bethel, sent to slow down the Greystones' progress and cut down their numbers. ("The Dungeons of Death")

Traquill: One of the three remaining wizards/witches in Aperans, Traquill is sworn to serve the Greystone royal family, and the elderly wizard has apparently done so for many years. Traquill prefers pointed hats and pointed shoes, and claims to be able to smell when another wizard is lying.

Tri-Kingdom Drinking Contest: The name pretty much says it all. Justin Greystone is known to compete in the event. (There's a surprise.)

Vector: One of the three remaining wizards/witches in Aperans, Vector claims to have been a wizard for more than a thousand years. He is sworn to serve the Blackpool royal family. Recently his monocle was stolen, only to appear in the possession of Prince Dirk Blackpool. Vector suspects that Bethel had a hand in the theft, but can't prove it.

Winslow Sisters, The: Margaret and Lucille are barmaids at a tavern in the city of Dunfirm owned by Marko's brother Michael. Rightly or not, they have a reputation for being rather free with their affections. Marko will tell you that this may be true of Lucille, but not Margaret. Justin claims to have been out "fishing" with both of them at once ("Vulkar's Revenge"), but you know Justin.

Witch: A female magic user, believed to be immortal or at least very long lived. Uses a monocle to read from The Book and cast high-level spells, and is apparently always in service to a royal family. Cannot kill mortals, but can make it very difficult for that mortal to stay alive. Bethel is a witch.

Wizard: A male magic user, believed to be immortal or at least very long lived. Uses a monocle to read from The Book and cast high-level spells, and is apparently always in service to a royal family. Cannot kill mortals, but can make it very difficult for that mortal to stay alive. Traquill and Vector are wizards.

Woje: Princess Ariel Baaldorf's pet dog. It's small, fluffy, and has a whiny yip for a bark. Ariel's "wittow baby darwing." What else did you expect?

Zap: Colloquial for hitting someone with a magical spell.

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